I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
