Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
