zippers are such a cool invention
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
