I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
