Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
