so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
