Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
