That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Who died my cat blue again?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
