They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
