I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
