I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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