My sheets look like a crime scene.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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