Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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