DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
