i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
