What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
