He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
