is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
