mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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