ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
