So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
