so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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