Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Fuck appropriateness.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
