Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
