with your own penis?
I love having hate sex.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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