Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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