You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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