My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
