I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
