Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
