she smelled like a LAN party
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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