Who wears a wallet chain?!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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