Just fell off a train. Bad.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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