I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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