just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
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