ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
