Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
