Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
