If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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