The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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