i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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