hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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