I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She's the barista slut.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
