new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
