This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
