Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
