i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
