Just mADE A PArabola og urine
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
