better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
