Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
